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9 Tried-And-True Stress Busters For Work-At-Home Moms
ALBERTAROSE WOMEN'S CORNER
Articles and Information for Family / Working Women
9 Tried-And-True Stress Busters
For Work-At-Home Moms
by Elizabeth Lyons
Find me a mother who can claim (with a straight face) that she has never felt stressed by the length of her to-do list, the mountain of laundry waiting to
be done, or the fact that she can't seem to find a moment of silence during the day and I'll be truly amazed. Their reasons may differ, but the result is the
same: mothers' stress levels are oftentimes too high to be healthy. There are tried and true methods to bringing these levels down -- and they don't require
a new line-item on the budget!
Breathe
It sounds so simple, but truthfully -- how slowly and deeply do you breathe when you're in the midst of a stressful situation? I bet if you pay attention the
next time you're shoulder-deep in such a circumstance, you'll realize your breathing pattern is more akin to panting away the contractions that got your
children here in the first place! Dr Melissa Stoppler, expert guide for about.stress.com recommends, "Before reacting to the next stressful occurrence,
take three deep breaths and release them slowly." If you have time, sit and breathe this way for three to five minutes or more. Imagine that you are
breathing the stress right out of your body.
Have a theme song for stressful occasions
Remember when Ally McBeal was all the rage and her therapist told her she needed a theme song? Well, turns out we all need one! I have several.
Which one I choose to sing (sometimes in the grocery store aisles) depends on the situation I am in and my level of desperation. My latest favorites are:
my made-up version of "Killing Me Slowly" (sung to the tune of "Killing Me Softly," by Roberta Flack), and "Success" by the Weather Girls. I'm also
presently addicted to a few of the tracks off the "Bringing Down the House" soundtrack (the movie starring Steve Martin and Queen Latifah).
Be more in the present moment
Living in the present allows us to momentarily forget about all the things that have to get done in the next week, month, or year. While you are focusing
on being in the present, you will naturally shift your overall perspective (and lower your stress). The fact that the laundry is piling up may be annoying --
and messy -- but in a month, let alone a week, it will be long forgotten (and hopefully done). Ask yourself if the issue over which you're feeling stress will
matter in a month. If not, breathe and relax about it. It'll get done -- probably sooner than you think. If it truly will matter in a month, take time as soon as
possible to accomplish the task. Rarely will something be this important, but when it is, it's best to get it out of the way.
Vent
Ahhhhh, one of my favorites. I can't tell you how often I call my girlfriends, or vice versa, say "hello," and then proceed to go on for five to 10 minutes
about something that has me in knots. I end this tirade by saying "OK, that's it. Sorry to dump all that on you. Gotta go deal with a meltdown." For some
reason, just getting it out of your body can be all you need to move on to the next challenge.
Get outside for a few minutes
Fresh air is an amazing healer. You know when it's been winter for seemingly forever and you have a nice day and can open the windows? Is that not
the most refreshing feeling in the world? You breathe more deeply, your whole insides feel "fresher." There is a reason for this. According to Dr Bernell
Baldwin, "Fresh air is chemically different than the recirculated indoor air that most Americans breathe. The life-giving oxygen molecule is negatively
charged…which gives rise to a number of benefits…including protection against some of the physical changes linked to anxiety."
Whenever your mind feels as though it needs to be cleared out, head outside for a brief walk; your kids will benefit as well. If you would prefer to simply relax alone, sit outside on a porch or in a porch swing in the evening.
Try a repetitive activity such as knitting
I should note that this approach does not work for me; when stressed, I tend to knit with aggression and practically impale myself with the knitting needle,
but I know some people for whom this activity works wonders. One of my friends does cross-stitch to relax. Others scrapbook. My friend's husband even
paints baseboards and crown molding (I sure wish they lived closer!). The point is to find something mindless -- an activity that can be done while your
mind drifts off and gets a well-deserved break.
Go to bed when your kids do
Mothers are often programmed to jump to work the minute the kids are in bed. Whether it's completing an obligation for a part-time job, working on one's
quest to turn passion into profit, or struggling to get the laundry done so you all don't have to go to playgroup in your PJs, we often don't stop until it's
technically the next day. Every once in a while, choose to go to bed when your kids do. Put on some comfortable PJs, and put on a good TV show or read
a good magazine or book that you've been looking forward to. Give your brain (and your muscles) the night off!
Designate one full day each week as the "No Work Day."
To be fair, I have to give credit to my husband for this suggestion. There is so much going on in our home and our lives that if I wanted to, I could do
nothing but housework, kid-work, and business-work until the world came to an end. It was suggested that I pick one day a week to consistently do no
work of any kind. No business. No cleaning. No yard work. It's not easy to go cold turkey like that, but I'm making progress. Last Sunday, I checked
e-mail only once and my only project was finishing the decorating in the boys' room. Truth be told, I felt quite refreshed as I crawled into bed that night!
Become less controlling
According to Richard Carlson, PhD, author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work, "The trait of being controlling is highly stressful." Dr Carlson
cautions against becoming "tied to an imagined image" of the way your life should be. Determine what your definition of acceptable is. Not your
neighbor's, not your best friend's. Devise a plan that will allow you to ensure that those things most important to your day-to-day sanity can be
accomplished with some level of frequency.
Being a mom is stressful work, there's no doubt about it. But remember your most important audience: your children According to child psychiatrist
and researcher Dr Roxanne Dryden-Edwards in an interview with Dr Melissa Stoppler, "Children of stressed parents can also learn the tendency to get
stressed out in reaction to life's challenges from their parents." One of our biggest jobs as parents is to raise our children to be happy, healthy, functioning
adults. In order to be able to fairly expect them to accomplish these goals, we have to set forth the proper example.
About this article: Elizabeth Lyons is the author of Ready or Not…Here We Come! The REAL Experts' Cannot-Live-Without Guide to the
First Year with Twins. Visit her online at www.elizabethlyons.com.
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